Sometimes you’ll find yourself having a hard time making the right decision in a situation in which the outcome is of such importance that it worries you sick.
Your rational mind is trying to calculate all possible outcomes by going through various scenarios, but all those thoughts are overwhelming and the panic kicks in when you can’t get a clear answer to the questions you asked yourself. The more you think, the more you get lost and your nerves are taking over.
What could you do to ease the mind and make a decision that feels right?
You give this situation and the possible outcome great importance but how important or severe is it really? Is it going to be the end of the world, your life, or damaging other people’s lives? How could you deal with a less favourable outcome and how much impact will a different outcome have on your life? Now, you can give it a good night’s sleep (if your troubled mind allows you to) and stay sensibly rational by writing down the pros and cons, get it all out of your mind in black and white. This is a positive step in the direction of emptying your head, but will it bring you eventually the solution you’re looking for? Hurrah if it does!
Use your gut feeling
If it doesn’t, you need to pick up the phone and get in touch with yourself, using that magical intuition, the inner voice deep down in your gut. We all possess this wonderful inner guidance which is never wrong. The problem though is that we are too disconnected of ourselves to be in touch with this deep-rooted wisdom and since we learn from an early age to be rational and rely on our intellectual capacity, we don’t trust this inner voice. You know exactly what I mean because I’m pretty sure that it happened to you that your thoughts overruled your gut feeling in a decision you made and turned out to be wrong, your intuition was right.
If what you think doesn’t synchronise with what you feel you can be certain that your brain is wrong and you should follow your gut feeling.
I understand that it can be quite tough to ease your mind, calming down your nerves to be able to hear that inner-voice. Especially living in a busy city and/or living a busy life being overwhelmed by all the noise and people around us (even your dear family).
How can you give yourself a break and have some quality time with yourself to be able to see and feel clear?
There are several things you can do and of course you choose what suits you best. I know that if I give the option to meditate it will give some of you instantly a rash because you’re not in to airy-fairy practises, but there are more down to earth variations to ease the mind.
Relaxation practise & connect
Instead of sitting on a cushion and mumbling mantras you can sit down somewhere quiet, at home, park or any other place you can think of. Sitting down with your feet flat on the floor/ground and have your hands resting on your lap. You could lay down as well, but the chance is that you could doze off.
Close your eyes and start paying attention to your breathing. Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth gently and effortlessly. Notice the cold air passing through your nose and warm air through the mouth. Then you could imagine how you breathe in positive, energising air and breathing out all negative emotions, thoughts or worries. Each breath you take fills you with energy, relaxes your muscles. Each time you breathe out you feel lighter, calmer. (you can repeat the breathing and affirmations until you’re completely relaxed)
You might wander off with your thoughts during this practise, but that’s completely ok. Notice this and come back to your breathing.
Getting in touch with your gut feeling
Once you find your mind is calm you can place your hands on your belly and get in touch with your gut feeling. Just imagine the situation you’re in or the outcome and ask yourself the question. You’ll know when it feels right and resonates. (it might be that you can’t reach this point the first time using this relaxation technique, keep practising)
More simple variations
If you think that getting connected to your intuition isn’t your cup of tea but you want to be able to think and feel clear, then just stick to the breathing practise.
- You could do the breathing exercise mentioned above but without the imagination and just count your breathing. For example, breathing in and out counting as one, breathing in and out two etc. You count ‘til ten and start all over again. Same here, you might wander off with your thoughts or being distracted by sounds which is completely ok, just go back to counting your breath.
- If you like to relax but without the whole breathing part then just play music which calms you and brings you in a different mind-state. Choose music which isn’t getting you all emotional, maybe music you never heard before. (so it won’t bring back memories and you can focus on listening to it without any thoughts or certain feelings)
Last but not least
Give yourself at least 15 minutes to practise, of peace and calm. Don’t expect to find the solution or total recovery of stress at once. You might need to plan a daily routine of 10 minutes (or more if you can) to find whatever it is that you require. As well keep in mind that every time you practise the experience might differ. Sometimes you feel wonderful and it worked out well, but another time it might not be entirely successful. Just be open-minded and don’t have any expectations.
If you like guided meditations, alternative breathing relaxations or music, then I recommend the app Insight Timer. It’s very helpful to relax where ever you are without the hassle to go to a particular meditation/relaxation workshop.